I haven’t been posting much. Okay, at all.

I’ll be honest. It’s because of a lot of reasons but in part because I’ve been really bummed in general and feeling kind of eh and ugh and bleh. Both in a physical and a mental sense. And I keep thinking I really ought to keep this blog, you know, LIGHT and AIRY and FLUFFY and FUNNY. Which is hard to do when you’re feeling kind of urk.

There are other authors peeps who keep it more real (like the ever lovely Myra McEntire and Stephanie Kuehnert) and sometimes I think maybe I should be like that. They do it so nicely and authentically. But then I think, urm, maybe all the stuff that goes on in my head really shouldn’t come out. Especially when I’m somewhere kinda dark. So I don’t know. I don’t really have any answers for that.

But as my cousin and web designer guru guy reminded me today (*has it really been since August 23rd since you posted?*), a blog is kinda useless and dead without actual, you know, posts.

So here I am.

Part of what has been eating away at my brain I still can’t talk about (maybe in November. But maybe not until February. I just don’t know yet). And it will, honestly, be a huge burden off of me once I can talk about all that stuff. But I can’t yet. So…

There’s The Book That Wouldn’t Die. The one I’m doing revisions for my agent on now. It’s going okay, actually. There are parts I still don’t love, but I’m working on it. And I do hope to have it done within the next week or two. Feedback has been pretty good on it, overall, from the few beta readers I have.

The big question in my head, of course, is whether or not my agent is gonna be able to sell it (which is, I’m sure, exactly one of the questions you are NEVER supposed to post on your writer blog because we’re all supposed to be POSITIVE at all times and never admit FEAR). This book is actually the first time I’ve got a book being taken around by an agent. So I don’t really know what to expect or hope for. I sold my first one myself and the second one was a sequel, so there really wasn’t much selling going on, if you know what I mean. Is anyone gonna buy this puppy? Or did I just waste months of my life? (though, okay, yeah, I know, you learn something new every time you write and yes, that’s totally true, but still.)

And then I worry about my current books that are out there. Sales on the second one seem to be going slower than the first one, but I’m being told that they’re still okay and that sales in general are down. Still, it makes me freak out a bit. Every day I get people writing to ask me when the third book will come out and the honest answer is that I have no idea. My publisher isn’t huge, so they (I imagine) want to see a certain number of sales before they ask me for a third book. I dunno what that magic number is. Every time someone writes me to basically say “hey, you, author lady, get your butt in gear and write that book!” I kinda wanna go AAAAAgggggggggghhhhhhh. Because I’d love to write that book. I even mostly know what’s going to happen in it. But I’ve got no control over it. Though I guess I could say “hey, you, readers who want another Mina book, get your butts in gear and go buy the second book so I can write the third one!” But that’d probably be impolite, you think?

I think the perception out there is often that once you’ve got a book or two out, everything is easy-peasy. But nothing about publishing is ever easy (well, at least, not for anyone I know).

I know I need to not worry about these things and just keep slogging away, but it’s been hard lately with all the other stuff I can’t talk about (and really, I can’t). My brain has just been feeling like it needs to implode.

But look, a blog post. Ain’t it shiny and new?