Welcome to Autumn (our front window)

There are dreams and then there are Dreams. Of the former…I’ve been having really strange ones lately. Like mini-movies that may or may not actually include me in it (do other people have dreams they aren’t in or is it just me?). The kind where you wake up, heart racing, wondering what happens next. And then bummed because you’ve woken up and you’ll never know now.

I have stories that have started out that way (kinda like Stephenie Meyer, I know, but *not* at the same time…mine have never had sparkly vampires in them) and some of them might even turn into full-fledged novels one day. Though in the light of day, things that make sense in the dream-world, don’t always hold up well under scrutiny. Chimpanzee wearing a purple-striped bikini and eating an ice cream cone while standing on a rolling ball? Um, maybe not.

I often tend to dream really crazy dreams when I’m working on  a book. They don’t necessarily have anything to do with the book (Ask Me, for instance, definitely has no chimpanzees in it). Maybe they are just a by-product of your imagination working over time. After all, sometimes thorny plot issues have a way of solving themselves in those midnight hours.

As for Dreams with a big D…I’ve been wondering what mine really is now. Once upon a time, my Dream was to be a published author. And I am (since 2008! Whoo!). Was it a dream come true? Well, not totally (not that I’d trade it for the world! But no matter what you think it will be like, it’s not it). And while I’d love to have a Big Dream like hitting the NYT’s Bestseller list, I don’t really want that to be my Dream, you know? I’d like something, well, bigger. More meaningful and less commercial-y feeling.

What is it? I dunno yet.

What’s your dream? (don’t worry, I’m not going to co-opt it. Well, unless it’s really good…)

In writing-ish-ness, I’m still working on Ask Me. Need to finish it up in the next month before the holidays really kick in and The Max is off from school. Some days it is really flowing. Other days…pulling teeth, dude, pulling teeth. I like the story though. And the main character, Aria, even though I know I’m about to make her life really, really miserable.

On Cat Girl’s Day Off, the copy edit is all done and the galleys are about to come to me for a final review (maybe today or tomorrow! Ack!). The ARC cover has been settled on (love it). Only disappointing note is that I came up with a too-late-to-use title idea. But hey, if I get to write a sequel, I’ve got a great title for it now. So that’s something.

It was just so perfect. Sigh. My editor liked it too, but it was too late since the sales people have been out since September with sell sheets.

And in Sucks to Be Me third book-ish news…honestly, I really still don’t know what to do there. I do so love it that you guys email me and leave comments every week asking about the status. I am just so leery of self-publishing (though I don’t see that I have a choice in the matter if I want to get it out there). And the first two books are still selling (and have apparently reached far away places like Malaysia–thanks, Dylan, for the picture of my books in a store there!). I was reading this article on The Millions and it really rings true to me.

Though the idea of getting funding through Kickstarter is appealing to me and it looks like there are writers who have successfully done this (and then I could use that money to actually produce a physical copy of the book, not just an eBook, which is something I’d really like to do). Of course, if I did that I’d have to come up with some really cool things for backers…*thinks* Basically, the Kickstarter funding would replace the advance I would normally get from a publisher and cover some advertising and production costs. I have to look into that. It has definite possibilities. If anyone has any ideas related to that, I’m all ears. I don’t think (at least, not how things stand currently in publishing) that I want to normally self publish stuff…I like having a publisher to do the grunt work so I can concentrate more on the writing-y bit. But it may work for a third Sucks to Be Me book.

But first I have to finish Ask Me.

As a bonus for actually reading this long rambling blog post and getting this far, here’s a snippet that has not yet been worked into the book (but will be soon…though it may not survive exactly as written below…):

“Will?” I called again, louder this time. I stood by his car and switched my flashlight off to save the battery I had left. It wasn’t fair that I couldn’t ask myself questions and get answers. I tried it, even though I knew it wouldn’t work. It never had before. “Where is Will?” I said, feeling silly.

“Here.” He came up behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders and leaning forward. “Right here.” I could feel his breath on my right ear. I turned around and found myself nose to nose with him, literally. I backed up, but his car was in the way.

“Hi,” I said, suddenly wondering how my breath was. I hadn’t anticipated being quite this close to him. I swallowed and resisted the urge to lick my lips. Only girls in movies did that.

It was 2 AM and I was tired and very, very annoyed. I even left a comment on the article, which I had promised myself to never do again (commenting on a news site, that is…it’s generally an ill-advised proposition). Then I finally went to bed with a promise to myself that I was going to let myself rant in the morning about the whole nasty mess. I was going to talk about how not all YA is dark (heck, I’ve written three), but even the bits that are NEED to be around. That all readers are different. That parenting is one thing, but censorship is another.

But it’s a new day. While I still think all those things and I am still very, very annoyed, I’d like to do something else.

Dear Teenagers,

You rock. I know not a lot of adults seem to give you any credit and I don’t know why. Maybe they don’t remember what it was like to be a teenager. Maybe they only remember the mistakes they made and not the lessons that they learned. Maybe they look at the world through rose-colored glasses and the distance of years has made everything seem idyllic. I don’t know.

What I do know is that you guys are smart. You know what you like and what you don’t like. You even know what you’re ready for and what you’re not (not that you always follow your own inner knowledge, but hey, neither do adults and that learning thing I mentioned earlier? that’s how it happens). I’ve seen you put down a book that was too intense for you and leave it for later or not at all. Maybe it was too much swearing. Maybe it was too much sex. Maybe it was something nasty and dark and scary, either too-real or a creepiness that only comes from the recesses of imagination. Maybe your parent wanted you to put it down (and if they did and you didn’t want to, then I hoped you talked about it…actually, either way, I hope you talked about it.).

I’ve seen you do that and I have faith in you that you know yourself. I have faith in you that you can reach out to others for help, for understanding, for whatever you need. And in those times you can’t manage to reach out, just know that there are people out there who love you and are there for you.

I know that being a teenager doesn’t mean that you can’t understand what love is. You can. You do. You also know happiness and anger and fear, depression and joy and embarrassment. You are perfectly capable of experiencing these things.

I really mean it when I say I love you guys. You are smart. You are caring. I trust you. May you learn and grow (and read) every day. I feel honored to be able to write books for you.

Love, me.

Last night I went to my first writer-ly thing here in London. I attended the British SCBWI’s February social, which was held at a bar near the Baker Street station (Baker Street. You know, 221B Baker Street? Sherlock Holmes? Which didn’t actually exist until they added it for tourism-ish purposes, but no matter, it’s actually pretty cool. Oh, and Madame Toussad’s is there too. Neither of which have anything to do with this blog post.).

Sometimes I feel like an inconsequential hack. I think a lot of writers get that from time to time. There are always other writers out there that are bigger, better, faster…you know, Writer 2.0 or whatever. But we’ve all got our own strengths and weaknesses. Me, I know where my holes are (and some days, I’m swiss cheese, but others I’m practically gouda…ha, ha, a cheese joke…geez. I need to get out more.). Lately I’ve been on edge, which is partly a product of having a book out on sub with an agent for the first time (my first book I sold without one). I feel removed from the process, in a way, and it’s just kind of…I dunno, scary? Maybe scary isn’t the word. Maybe it’s like having a blind date that you really want to go well. You’re waiting at home for them to arrive, you’ve got your best outfit on, you’ve brushed your teeth ten times and you’re just stranded there worrying about whether or not they’ll like you. And wondering whether they’ll just dash back out to their car once they’ve met you for reasons which may or may not have to do with what you’re wearing or who you are or whatever.

Anyway. I think that metaphor is getting a little strained. And I’m not getting to the point.

Which is often what happens when I blog. Ahem. One of those holes I mentioned…

So, I met a bunch of lovely writer people, of all stripes and colors. And you do the spiel, you know, when you introduce yourself: “Hullo, nice to meet you, I’m Kimberly. Yes, I am American. Just moved here. Yes, I’m a writer. I write YA. Yes, I’ve been published. I’ve got two books out, one out on sub with my agent, and another one I’m about to sign a contract on.”

Which sounds, actually, not all that bad when you get it out in one sentence like that. Look at that. I sound like a real writer. And I didn’t even have to drag my short story or magazine credits into it.

And that reminded me of something.

Hello, dear readers out there. I want to say Thank You to you. I don’t say it often enough. I really appreciate you, every single one of you (ok, except, perhaps, for anyone that’s given me a one star review somewhere. Sorry, I’m human. I try to appreciate you, but I can’t say that I do, exactly). Thank you to all of you who have read my books. Thank you to all of you who have laughed about a funny bit with your friends or shared a page with someone. Thank you to every one of you who have ever taken some time out of your day to send me an email or a Twitter or Facebook comment. Thank you especially much to those of you who actually took the time to write me real snail mail letters or to draw fan art. Thank you to the ones who write me repeatedly to ask about the status of a third book or a Sucks to Be Me movie or TV show (yes, even the ones of you who ask on a weekly basis…you know who you are). Thank you to everyone I’ve ever met at ALA or during an author visit. You are all awesome. You rock. I so love you guys.

You’re what makes all the terror-y bits of being a writer worthwhile. So, really and truly, Thank You.

You do?

Glorious!

Here’s the most obvious one: buy their books. If you can afford to, buy them in hardback form, but really any sale will help (it’s not so much the extra money from the hardcover that helps more, though I won’t deny it, it’s the fact that often hardcovers come first and a book won’t necessarily make it to paperback if there aren’t enough hardcover sales, among other related tidbits like that).

As a follow up to that, don’t steal books. Every book you steal HURTS your fav author and this post is about how to HELP them. Because you want more books, don’t you? I know I do. I love books. I write ‘em, but I also read them. And buy them. A lot of people say they only download illegal copies of books to check them out, similar to how they might browse in a bookstore. Well, okay, fine then. IF you download a book illegally, do your perusal and if you like it enough to read it, then go buy it. That’s fair, isn’t it?  Anywho, onward…

Wait, you say. I can’t afford to buy a book! I can’t even afford a stick of gum! That’s okay. Hey, I’ve been there. Here’s where I’d insert a joke about just how poor I was growing up, but it would honestly just depress me AND you, so I’m going to skip it. But it’s true. Anyway, it doesn’t matter if you can’t buy the book. There are still TONS of other things you can do to support your favorite author:

• Get the book from your local library. If the library doesn’t have your fav author’s book(s), ASK for them. Librarians are delightful people and they LOVE this kind of thing. They WANT to know what their patrons want. And book sales to libraries HELP authors. Not to mention, if the library buys the book, you’re helping more people discover that author. And if the copy wears out or the demand is high, the library will buy multiple copies. You can also donate copies of books to your library (hey, they are having budget crunches too).
• Tell your friends. Seriously. Word of mouth is HUGE. I trust the opinions of my friends and tweeps more than I trust some stuffy reviewer in Kirkus (sorry, Kirkus). If you tell just one friend and they buy the book and tell a friend…you get the idea.
• If you have a blog, review the book (heh. particularly if you happen to like it).
• Review the book on book sites, like Amazon and Barnes & Noble and Waterstones and W.H. Smith and …you get the idea. Not to mention Library Thing and Goodreads and Shelfari and…ahem. Like I said, you get the idea. Reviews really do make a difference. Not only are people seeing your opinion and learning more about the book or author, some stores see the number of reviews as a reflection on the popularity of a book. So, they see a book with a lot of reviews and think, hey, perhaps we ought to order more of those…
• Oh, and if you’re a book blogger / book reviewer, please do read this post from Waxman Literary on ARCs. Good stuff. So true.
• If you’re in a bookstore and you don’t see your fav authors book(s) on the shelf, ask that they be carried. Or at least mention it to staff. This works in shops both large and small. They may or may not carry it just because you asked (if you’re not making an actual order), but it at least gets the author’s name / book title some notice. In my personal experience, I’ve seen a store that didn’t have my second book, but they had my first one. When I asked, they said they wouldn’t carry the second one until two people had asked for it by name. Me asking, of course, made no difference. ;P
• Say you’re in that bookstore again. This next suggestion will probably get me the ire of some booksellers, but how about facing out the book(s) of your favorite author? Face front books are more likely to get noticed than spine out books. Hoo! Guerrilla marketing! If you really want to be radical, I suppose you could move them to an end cap (that’s the shelves at the end of aisles). Or, for something less to be frowned on by the booksellers, why not enthuse about your fav author / books to the sales people? You never know — hearing from you how awesome a book or author is may make them want to read the book or promote it themselves to bookstore patrons.

Anyway, that’s some thoughts for now. Anyone else have any ideas? I’d love to hear them. Questions too — I’ll take them.

And me? I think I’m off tomorrow to go buy some books from some of my favorite authors…because I want a world in which books keep coming and coming.

On Friday, I hung out with a bunch of teens and Gordon & Lindsey at the Bellevue Library and we all made a felt batty!! That was Gordon’s idea (he’s crafty!) and it was SO much fun. The Max (and the hubster) even got involved. The Max, in fact, made an entire army of bats AND had his first experience using scissors.

Making Bats (should've taken this pic before ppl started to leave, so this shot is missing some of the awesome bats)

On Saturday, I did the main author visit. I talked (for prolly too long), did Q&A kind of stuff, a writing workshop, and signed books. Everyone was great and we all (I think) had a lot of fun coming up with a new story (involving blue-haired mermen and a search for a long-lost parent) as part of the exercise. I hope everyone had as good of a time as I did.

Me, Gordon & Lindsey!

On Still Sucks to Be Me in Spanish!

Now, in other news, it seems that Still Sucks to Be Me is nearly here in the Spanish version! Looks like it is coming out on November 9th! Looks also like they changed the name up a bit to just Más Confesiones de Mina Smith (Vampiro Adolescente). And the cover is radically different than the first Spanish cover (Ser yo es un asco). Check it out…

I have to admit that my first reaction was pretty much just “Whoa!” and “Dude!” It’s just SO different. It’s cool and kind of reminds me of a Beautiful Creatures type of thing. What do you think? The only qualm I have is that it doesn’t look like a funny book. So I hope people don’t pick it up and then get a shock. Anyway, I can’t wait to see it in person!

On Piracy

And in final news…I actually got a nasty shock today. I’m signed up for Google Alerts (as are all authors, I’d wager) and got one this morning. I clicked through and found a download site with an illegal copy of Still Sucks to Be Me on it. This isn’t, honestly, that unusual (as depressing as that is) but what made this one particularly horrifying is that it showed the download count and OVER 20,000 COPIES HAD BEEN DOWNLOADED. On just this ONE website. And I know that it’s also out there on other sites. How many more pirated copies are out there?

I could cry.

To put that in perspective, the initial print run of Sucks to Be Me was around 20,000 copies. Actually, let me put this even more in perspective for you…my first statement for Still Sucks didn’t have 20,000 sales on it. I haven’t gotten my next statement yet (though I should soon–I get statements 4 times a year, unlike many authors who get them only twice or even just once), but it could conceivably be LESS than the number of copies that have been illegally downloaded (though I do hope it’s more!). I am not (at this time, though I certainly have aspirations) a NYT Bestselling Author. I do not sell millions of books. Every one of those pirated copies directly hurts me.

If those 20,000 people had actually bought my book I could just about guarantee you that I would be sitting here actually writing book #3 rather than waiting to see if my publisher will want it or not (note: I am not remotely upset with my publisher that I am still waiting to hear on whether they want book #3 or not. I know that this is a business. I know that the economy is tough. I know my editor would love to work with me on it. They just have to see if they are able to.).

So not only have those people potentially stolen a bunch of income from ME, they are also stealing from YOU. All of my awesome, incredibly wonderful fans (many of whom email me every week to ask when the third book will be out) may not get a third book. It won’t be because I didn’t want to write it.

Like I said, I could cry.

I know that there have been arguments made that people who illegally download a book aren’t the kind of people who would actually purchase one anyway, so it’s not “really” hurting authors. Well, maybe those people would have borrowed it from a library in times past, in which case, it would still be helping me rather than hurting me. And maybe some of them actually would have bought it. If even 10% of them had bought it instead of stolen it, it would have helped me out.

And I know I’ve been told that it’s useless to bother posting about this stuff (in fact, some people say you should just keep quiet), but my (probably naive) hope is that just one person may change their mind about illegally downloading something.

I can hope.

EDIT: Found this great post from another author of the costs of piracy to both authors and readers. Read it.

As a writer, every time someone (generally someone who hasn’t even read the book in question or has read only pieces of it out of context) tries to ban a book really angers me. There are few things on this earth that I hate more than censorship. It is never right. (And no, I am not talking about someone censoring what their own child is reading…that’s your right…though I hope that you choose to talk with your child rather than just banning something without discussion.)

As a mother, I am appalled that people like Mr. Scroggins are always trying to decide what is best for my child. Quite frankly, Mr. Scroggins (and everyone of your ilk), I like to do my own thinking. In fact, I’d like all of us to do our own thinking. I’m not up here to tell you what to think either, though I am sharing my opinion (like Mr. Scroggins, though I hope that is the only similarity we share)…my only call to action is that I want you — yes, YOU — to THINK before you say something, do something, and especially before you try to tell anyone else what to do or think.

As a person, I can’t even begin to describe how Mr. Scroggins scares me. The fact that he confuses the victim with the sin is just unforgivable, not to mention that he considers rape to be a potential turn-on. This is where my brain experiences a disconnect. Did he even read the book at all? The book, in it’s entirety, is about a girl who had an unspeakable act — no, wait, let’s just be all Anglo-Saxon here and call it like it is — she was raped — and the consequences when she is unable to verbalize what happened to her…how her life is falling apart, how she is trapped within herself. It does not glamorize rape (again, two words I never thought I’d use in the same sentence). It does not remotely suggest that what happened to Melinda is good or desired. The fact that this man actually sees rape as pornography says, I think, more about him than it does about any of the victims.

And yes, for the record, I have read the book. It is an amazing book. It made me cry. It made me think. Even now, years after I first read it, it is with me. (And also for the record, I’ve met Laurie and she’s one of the people that make me proud to be a writer, though I met her before I was “officially” one. She is one of the most gracious and genuine people I’ve ever met.)

And yes, while I would like to live in a world where rape does not exist, I don’t. Sexual abuse occurs in many different fashions and (unlike Mr. Scroggins suggests) in families of every type: rich, poor, well-adjusted, maladjusted and everything in between. It isn’t something that happens just to people in “bad” families. To even suggest that the girls and boys that experience sexual abuse should not have avenues available to them to assist them in their struggles is the talk of someone that does not realize how close to home abuse can hit. I wonder if Mr. Scroggins has ever asked ten of his friends if they have ever been abused. I wonder if he would be surprised at their answers.

Because I know, just in my own life and among my own friends, that within any group of ten of my female friends, at least one will have had some type of abuse occur. Usually more.

As a woman who was once upon a time a girl who desperately could have used a book like Speak, I am incredibly saddened by the whole discussion. I was not raped (like CJ, who has bravely posted about this topic), but I have experienced abuse. I’m not going to be specific here (this isn’t the time or the place and honestly, I’m not really ready to write about it…it’s one of the reasons I write funny books and not gut-wrenching fiction like Laurie), but I can attest that Laurie’s book would have been a God-send for me when I was that age. It might have helped me to speak out, like it has helped hundreds (probably thousands) of today’s teens. And if it isn’t Laurie’s book that’s the book that opens doors for you, maybe it is another one. Another book out there that Mr. Scroggins probably doesn’t want you to read.

As a human being, I think I’m mostly just angry. Angry that these challenges keep coming up. Angry that there are always people out there trying to tell me what to think and trying to assign value to my life when they haven’t even met me. Angry that there are kids out there that feel they have no where to turn. Angry that we even have to talk about these things.

There. Now that we’ve got that out of the way.

Before you get an agent, you look on with wide-eyed wonder at those writers who have one wondering who waved a magic wand. Or maybe just in bitter jealousy. I suppose it depends on you.

Anyway, here’s how I got one (Tamar Rydzinski of the Laura Dail agency). First, I wrote a book. (Doh!) Then I started querying agents that I’d researched as possible good fits based on what they repped and on recommendations from author peeps that I knew (I knew quite a few from all my years of reviewing and interviewing them). I queried a total of about, erm, maybe 8 or 10 agents in my first batch, including Laura Dail, who had been recommended (and introduced to me) by the awesome Sarah Mlynowski.

They all said no. For the most part, they all liked my writing okay but to some it didn’t speak to them because they liked vampire novels that were traditional horror-ish stuff. And some just didn’t think vampires were an easy sell. I should note that I wrote my book in 2004/2005 before Twilight came out and was querying before it came out and during the early Twilight days before things went insane. And, darn it all, right when I first started querying, a bunch of new vampire books cropped up. Laura considered it the longest and gave me an encouraging no and said I should send more stuff in the future.

Well, I was talking with Terry, a writer friend of mine and she mentioned that her editor at Mirrorstone was looking for paranormal YA. She introduced me and Mirrorstone considered the manuscript for a good long time (not complaining, just saying). They ultimately decided to buy it and I signed all the contracts and stuff myself. No agent.

Then (much later), my book came out. An author friend of mine who had gone to work as an editor/development dude at a large book packager (okay, THE large book packager) liked Mina’s voice. He emailed and asked if I would be interested in working with them on a middle grade novel, possibly a series. It was an interesting idea and while it wasn’t *my* idea, I thought I ought to at least investigate it. But there was no way I was going to do that without an agent. Book packaging contracts are notoriously convoluted. So I emailed Laura and explained the situation, etc. and they agreed to represent me.

The book packager thing fell through (they decided they wanted a guy to write the series in question, and while there are many things I can change about myself, that just isn’t one of them), but lo and behold, I had an agent. Tamar works with Laura.

Nothing overly romantic or earth-shattering, but there you go.

I still actually have no idea how the agent thing works in many ways since Tamar hasn’t actually repped a book I haven’t sold myself (she did the contract stuff on the sequel, but didn’t have to present it or anything like that — I really still just worked directly with my editor on that). They’ve handled all the foreign contract stuff on Sucks to Be Me, which is good (because it is totally confusing). So I’ll have to report back after I actually finish my next book and actually get to work with them for real.

See, I told you it wouldn’t help you at all.

P.S. And there’s more! Read on for the continuing saga of how I got an agent (and then another one)

Neither of which I am actually doing. But I’d really like to.

Writing-wise, I’ve been slowly working on my new novel (the as-yet unsold one, but at least my agent is liking it so far) but I need to do some more character construction for one of the main character’s best friends. She’s a little too flat and typical right now. So I’m hoping to get that settled so I can move on with the book.

And I did send off a picture book manuscript to two different editors. My agent doesn’t handle picture books, so I’m doing the legwork on this one on my own. As Michael Stearns says, picture books are HARD. I know a lot of people think “Oh, but they’re so short and cute! I could turn one out tomorrow!” But they are wrong. Dead wrong (and no, that’s not a vampire joke). Actually, I directly hear this from people all the time. Pretty much anytime I tell someone what I do for a living. The next thing out of their mouth is usually “Oh, I’m going to write a picture book” or “I wrote a picture book” or some variation thereof. Like it’s nothing.

Humph. Picture books are harder than novels in many ways. You have so few words to work with. I revised that one little picture book (of around 100 words) far more times than any scene in any book I’ve worked on. And I’m afraid it still isn’t perfect. I can think of at least two other ways to do it, but I finally picked one and sent it off because you have to start somewhere.

I have a lot of respect for good picture book authors. They do a lot with so little. I hope that I’ll get a nibble on my little picture book and it will have a chance to shine as well. Only time will tell.

Now, my poetry, on the other hand…that I only do for fun anymore. I have had a few published in magazines, but I don’t even send them out anymore. They are an indulgence and my new poetry rule for myself is that they are unedited. Because I could spend GOBS of time on them. But I don’t want to. I’m a mediocre poet with occasional stanzas of awesomeness. It’s not my career or my calling. But it’s fun. So I just write them and don’t worry about them and just post ‘em on my personal blog (if you *really* want to read one, you can: Watch Out, He Might Blow is a good example of my brain dump poetry.)

But I should wrap this up with an actual point, shouldn’t I? Okay, how about this: ALL writing is hard. And it should be. It’s work. Work is something you work at. There are no shortcuts.

That’s not to say it isn’t the most fun you can have without chocolate.

I still remember very fondly the year I got to have dinner with Harry Harrison. That was one of the highlights of my life. Should I say that? Oh, I am such a sci-fi geekette. Anyway, back to today.

It was a good conference but, as most such things are, it’s really geared more towards the pre-published than the published. I can’t say that I learned a whole lot. But then, I’ve also been “around” the business for quite some time what with running YA Books Central all these years. And other stuff. Eh, did I ever tell you I interned as an editorial assistant at a University Press? Oh my, the slush pile. It was, eh, academic. But weird.

But I digress (like I normally do).

Not that I am by any means an expert at anything in this crazy writing business. I may be published (and come May I’ll be more than a one hit wonder–Yay!), but I still have lots of questions. But they aren’t really the questions that get answered at conferences unless you can have a wee bit of a chat with an editor or agent (but not a stalkerish one). Though technically I suppose I can chat with my own  editor or agent. And I do. But sometimes, it’s hard to get solid answers. And I have to sometimes wonder if they’re just being nice (because they are, you know. Nice. Really. Awesome people.).

Like I’ll ask, “Um, so how is my book doing? Is it doing okay? How many copies should I be selling? How many copies do debut authors tend to sell on average?”

The answer I’ve gotten to that question is basically “Hey, it’s doing just fine.” and “It’s hard to give an average. I really couldn’t say.”

Maybe it’s because my husband is a math dude that I get a little caught up in numbers. Or maybe because he’s always asking me. When I get my royalty statements I can tell him how many copies I’ve sold, but I’ve never really been able to say whether it’s a good number or not. Because I really don’t know and it’s not the kind of stuff you can find anywhere online and they don’t teach it at conferences (though if someone did a breakout session on that? Oh, I would totally take it). And you can’t compare to news reports because they only seem to report on the big guns.

And I am NOT J.K. Rowling or Stephenie Meyer. I am not selling millions of copies. Not that I would complain if I was. So, you know, if you feel like going out there and buying a copy or two or three…

Um, anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. The conference.

One of the little tidbits I happened to learn today was during a session with Michael Stearns of Upstart Crow Literary. He’s an agent that I’ve followed on Twitter awhile and kept up with his blog posts (he’s pretty funny and if you know me, you know I like funny). He used to be an editor with a couple of different (very large) publishing houses. He said that [fairly popular author who I've heard of and admire greatly]‘s first 4 or so books sold only a few thousand copies each. And even his [really great, very awesome] award-winning novel only sold like 6,000 copies in hardcover.

Whoa.

Really?? I mean, I’d seen a news article recently that said something about how a first book nowadays is considered a success if it sells 5,000 copies. I thought it was a typo. Seriously.

Sucks to Be Me (in hardcover) has sold a bunch more than that. Not like Rowling level bunches or anything (not even close), but way more than that! And the paperback version that came out in August? It’s already sold more than that (though I think the numbers he was quoting were all about the hardcover, so I don’t know how the paperback sales stack up). And the hardcover did even go into a second printing, pretty fast.

So I do feel like, hey, maybe my book is doing pretty good! And who knows what will happen once the sequel comes out in May? Maybe even more people will discover it.

Hmmm. Betcha didn’t realize that even published authors still stress about stuff, huh? It makes me smile every time a fan writes me (and I write back) and they go “OMG! A Famous Author wrote me back!” Because I sooooooo do not feel remotely famous. If I’m ever out and about and I actually see someone reading my book (someone I don’t already know), I will probably SQUEE out loud and faint dead away.

Hmm. Maybe it’s a good thing I’m NOT J.K. Rowling. I’d have to carry a pillow around to land on or something.

But I should get back to talking about the conference. It was pretty good. Besides Michael Stearns, the other keynote speakers were Cynthia Leitich Smith (it was incredibly awesome to FINALLY meet her in person after having “known” her for years via email and she also brought along her husband Greg, who writes middle grade novels that I also love, so that was a bonus), Stacy Cantor from Walker Books, Yolanda LeRoy from Charlesbridge, Alisha Niehaus from Dial Books (Penguin), and Nick Eliopulos from Random House. They were all great, though Nick was especially funny — PLUS he also went to the University of Florida AND he also played D&D in High School! And he’s on the shorter side (though not nearly so short as me). I’d love to work with him someday. I think he’d be fun. I would totally write a paranormal gay romance just to do it.

Okay, I’m sure that made no sense to you. Ha! Nick had filled out a questionnaire about what he’d love to see come across his desk and that’s what he put down, even though he was kind of joking. But only kinda.

Though the novel I’m working on now is paranormal and it does have some romance and it does have a gay character…hmmmm. Though the gay character is a best friend and not the main character, so not a 100% fit. Anyway. But who knows, maybe my agent can send it to him when I’m done. You never know.

I thought all of the editors that came were very interesting and knew their stuff. And they were entertaining…Yolanda even sang and danced for us and Alisha turned a cartwheel.

Um, maybe you had to be there.

I also took in a breakout session with Cynthea Liu, the author of Paris Pan Takes the Dare. It was on PR. I actually pretty much already do all the things she talked about (which, geez, hopefully so since my first book came out in 2008!), though the one thing I ought to be more proactive about is scheduling events and trying to book school visits. I just haven’t put that as a big priority, partly because of The Max. But Cynthea’s got a 2 year old and if she can do it…Though, really, I think it’s tough right now because most schools and libraries just don’t have the funding to book authors. And I can’t afford to do visits for free (heck, childcare for The Max is around $100 if I’m gone all day) except when I do it as a promotion/giveaway. *sigh* Darn economy. But who knows, maybe next year will be better.

The only cringe worthy moments for me were when anybody brought up vampire novels during the talks. And how they were so over and blah, blah, blah. *sigh* Every time someone at one of these things asks me what my book is about, I kind of hate telling them it’s a vampire book. But it’s different! I say, while their eyes glaze over. I feel like I need to get a T-shirt written up with a disclaimer: Yes, I wrote a vampire book. No, I didn’t write it because of Twilight. I wrote it before Twilight came out, thankyouverymuch. There was a bandwagon? Wow, I must have missed that. Really, the undead are sooo dead? Thank you for telling me. I hadn’t heard that. Yes, I do have fangs. Do you want to see them? No, the book I’m working on now doesn’t have any vampires in it. No, it doesn’t have werewolves in it either. No, there are no zombies. No angels either. Would you like a bookmark?

Okay, maybe that wouldn’t be a good idea.

Um…this is getting really long and it’s past my bedtime. And it’s not even a rant. So, to sum up (as Inigo says)…

The conference was interesting. The guests were informative. I still feel all “Whoa, I’m an actual author.” And free Snickers? Those are always yummy.