I’d been seeing some reviews pop up of the book (in French! Which I am horrible at! Tres mal! Though as far as I can translate, the reviews have been pretty good) and was looking at the copies I have that the publisher (Castelmore) sent me and thinking Aha, I should give one away! So here we are.

This giveaway will run until the end of the month (May 31). Good luck! Bonne chance!
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My title (given to me by Andrew) is The Flat Tire Man (though over here it would be The Flat Tyre Man). People, I have been researching TIRES. And tread. And steel-belted radials.

Eep.

This is NOT the story (it’s one of the discarded options that wasn’t going anywhere).

He was that guy. The friend. The guy you called when you got a flat tire, even if it was three o’clock in the morning and you’d been out partying all night with another guy (Julie). That was exactly when you’d call a guy like Carl (Carl, The Flat Tire Man) because you certainly weren’t going to call the guy you’d just left (Steve) probably drunk and naked in a jacuzzi. You never called that guy for help.

“I could be that guy,” Carl said to himself.

So I had a brilliant idea. I found this WordPress plug in that will automatically re-tweet old blog posts. I mean, hey, there are nearly 900 blog posts on my website. I’ve been doing this blogging thing for years. So I turned it on and let it rip, but not at too crazy of an interval or anything (just like one random tweet with a blog post every few hours) because I didn’t want to be annoying. And besides, clever-me was thinking, some of those old blog posts were pretty good. You know, funny and all. Some of them were even, heaven forbid, focused.

The first couple that were randomly tweeted were pretty good ones that my husband would have approved of (he is, if you can tell, the business-y side of this relationship). Then the plugin apparently went to the dark side and re-tweeted some of my more maudlin and depressingly honest blog posts. Like this one. Which is, honestly, not a bad post per se. And I can’t honestly say I’m not feeling a lot of that right now. I got me some issues, people. Don’t we all? But I didn’t mean to worry anyone, so hence this apologetic post.

So, everybody that responded to that random posting, thank you. I did actually need that and I appreciate it. I’m not at my best right now: some health issues (I shall not bore you with the bevy of tests I have coming up where I shall be poked, prodded, and scanned), not to mention being on submission (!) and that inevitable sinking feeling authors get that no matter what they do or what they say, no one will find their newest book (hey, look, Cat Girl!) but I have now tried to restrict the auto-tweeting thing so that it stays on (hopefully) safer topics. Like my inane poetry (heh).

Goodness knows I’m not perfect.

Anyway, here’s a scan of a page of notes I’d made while working on Still Sucks to Be Me. You’ll note that I mostly ask myself a lot of questions. That’s pretty typical of my pages and pages of random notes…not sure what that says about my process…

And here’s some PDF scans for the outline of Still Sucks to Be Me. This is a copy I’d printed out when I was about half way done with the book. I generally keep the outline in Word and just make notes to myself on it, but sometimes I like to print it out and have a physical copy to mark up. Sorry it scanned in as separate pages (I am apparently becoming technologically illiterate the older I get). The red lines are things “to be done” so you can see where I was in the book when I printed this copy out…

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Anyway, hope you enjoy this peek into how I work. Um. Maybe “enjoy” isn’t the proper word.

But I am definitely FOR K. L. Going’s Fat Kid Rules the World. It’s the story of a fat kid who discovers Punk (yes, that’s Punk with a capital P and that rhymes with Kicks Ass and that stands for Awesome) and I was so psyched to hear that Matthew Lillard (an actor with credits like The Descendants, Scooby Doo, etc. etc. and other films I won’t hold against him because he’s cool) had made a film of it.

It’s like the little film that could. Everywhere it’s been shown it has garnered great reviews and inspired people and made them cry, etc. etc. But Hollywood doesn’t know how to distribute a film like this. It’s not SEXY. It’s a film about a fat kid. And Punk. With no Sid Vicious.

So they’ve gone to Kickstarter, the great equalizer of our Internet times, and are trying to raise $150,000 to distribute the film themselves. I am so donating as soon as I can figure out what’s more important to me (a 7″ vinyl with songs specially written for the film by Mike McCready of freaking PEARL JAM or a finished DVD of the film) or if my husband would kill me if I donate enough to also get an autographed copy of the book (hey, honey, it could be my birthday present that you never bought me, okay?).

So. What I’m saying is…get over there and check it out. Go Donate. You can donate as little as a $1. WORTHY CAUSE, people.

And, in other rambly disconnected news, I had my first Skype Video chat in ages yesterday (Thursday). BUT WAIT. First I should explain something. On Wednesday I got sick. Probably food poisoning, though I swear it might have been an alien hell-bent on revenging some imagined slight because it was THAT BAD. Thought my head was going to explode. Couldn’t even keep down water.

When it started, I was home alone with The Max. Who is the sweetest kid ever, right? So when I go in the bathroom to develop a meaningful relationship with the porcelain god, he comes in and sits next to me. With his iPad. Because that’s how he rolls. I tell him, in-between big gulps of air, that he can go sit on the bed or something. He doesn’t have to be there. This is how it goes:

The Max: No, Mommy, I stay right here with you. (pats me on the back) I love you, Mommy.

Me: [use your imagination, I don't wanna gross you out any more than you already are]

The Max: Poor Mommy! (pause) Mommy, that’s really yucky. (longer pause) Mommy, why did you do that?

Yeah. That was Wednesday. It was a bad night. And…baddabing…I had a Skype call with a middle school book club scheduled for Thursday! I woke up yesterday morning feeling…well, not as bad as Wednesday night, but still roughly like road kill. Dehydrated road kill. I took a long shower. I tentatively drank a Sprite. I actually ate some soup (I won’t even go into my chicken broth trauma). I pulled myself together. With MAKEUP.

This is me. Skype-ready.

And……I did it! I made it through the Skype video chat with the kids (who were really, really great and asked awesome questions and had cool names and one of them even had on a Hogwarts sweatshirt). It was fun! And I didn’t throw up! (And no, I didn’t regale them with any of this backstory either. That’s just for you weirdos that actually read my blog. Don’t you feel special now?)

So. The point of that was (surprise!)…I’d really love to Skype with your group (book group, library, classroom, whatever). This one was set up through that special thing I’m doing for librarians who order Cat Girl’s Day Off for their library. But, hey, if you’re a teacher or a book club…um…organizer? you can get in on the action too. Now that I’m living over here in London, Skype is the easiest way to actually get to talk to my US readers. And I love you guys. I miss you. *sniffle*

Enough of that. I’m getting maudlin now and I can barely even say the word.

In Cat Girl news…there are now 14 reviews over on Amazon! Woot! Thank you everyone who has posted a review! Believe it or not, those really DO make a big difference. If you’ve read Cat Girl and haven’t posted a review…please, pretty please, pleasety-please do. I would really appreciate it. While I am seriously psyched that all the big-time-y review places (Kirkus, Publisher’s Weekly, Booklist, and The School Library Journal) all gave the book great reviews, it’s the reviews from readers that really make my heart beat faster (um, don’t tell that to Kirkus, okay?).

Or, you know, heck. You could buy the book if you haven’t already. And tell your friends about it. That’d give me chills. I’d really like to write a sequel. (hint, hint)

And here’s where I go full circle and actually somewhat tie this feeble-minded blog post together. Here’s where I’m really feeling the whole Kickstarter Fat Kid mission up there. Cat Girl’s Day Off isn’t exactly a mainstream book (even though the Booklist reviewer, bless her, likens it to a Meg Cabot book). It’s got half-Asian characters with funky colored hair. Frenetic gay teenagers. A pink cat. Nunchucks. Ferris Bueller references. I can’t tell you how many reviews I’ve already seen where the reviewer starts off with some variant of: “I wasn’t sure about picking up this book but I’m glad I did…”

See, it’s an everybody book. People just don’t know it yet.

“In a multicultural family bestowed with supernatural abilities, such as mind reading and laser vision, Nat Ng believes her ability to communicate with cats is more of an embarrassment than a special talent. Only her family and her two best friends, exuberant Oscar and drop-dead gorgeous Melly, know her secret. When a production crew filming a remake of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off comes to the teens’ Chicago high school, Nat reluctantly agrees to join her friends as an extra. Nat might believe that her talent is unexceptional, but cat-loving readers will thoroughly enjoy where her ability leads her as she tours through the same Chicago landmarks seen in Ferris Bueller. This title has the light, buoyant humor of a Meg Cabot book, with the same blend of superpowers and high-school life that won Pauley many fans with Sucks to Be Me (2008). And the cats! Helping, hindering, sniffing out bad guys, sneering at good guys, the cats shamelessly rule.” —Diane Colson, Booklist

Dear Booklist: You can compare me to Meg Cabot any time you like

Taken with my camera phone, so they actually look much yummier and less greenish in person...

I’ve been experimenting lately with making chocolates, specifically filled ones. One, because if you’re feeling all angsty (is my book doing okay? are people liking it? do people hate it? is anyone reviewing it on Amazon? is anyone actually buying it? what should I work on next? etc., etc., etc.), there’s nothing like chocolate to soothe the soul. And two, I have about a billion silicone molds in different shapes.

The heart shaped one, though, is perfect for making filled chocolates. It’s nice and deep. Seeing as how I’m a huge fan of Reese Peanut Butter Cups, I thought I’d try those. I found a number of recipes online, but here’s what I did (and it worked, so hey)…

First off, you need chocolate (obviously). I used some organic milk chocolate melting chocolate I got at Whole Foods, but Nestle or whatever you want to try will work. For the filling, mix peanut butter with some confectioner’s sugar and some crushed crackers/biscuits (like graham crackers…I didn’t have any on hand so I actually used some malted milk flavored biscuits) until the consistency is kind of grainy.

Melt the chocolate (however you want to…just don’t burn it…I do it in the microwave at half power, taking out to stir every 30 seconds or minute or so). Put a bit into the mold, just enough to make a base. Jiggle the mold to get rid of any air bubbles. Then pop that sucker into the fridge or freezer to set it. Not for long…just a few minutes. It doesn’t have to be completely solid, just solid enough so that whatever you fill the center with doesn’t sink through to the bottom.

Put a rounded spoonful of the peanut butter mixture into the center of the mold. Try not to let it touch the sides. You can also fill with other things (I’ve now also done maraschino cherries and nutella). Then spoon more melted chocolate over it and fill to the top (or at least enough to cover all of the filling. Jiggle the mold again to get it all flat and nice and not air-bubbly. Pop back into the fridge or freezer for a few minutes (or up to ten, provided you can wait that long). Remove chocolates from the mold and Woot! Chocolates!

SO good. Now I want to experiment with other fillings and flavors and types of chocolates…This may be a bad hobby to take up, at least for the waistline.

The movie!

So I was super excited when I saw in Time Out that there was going to be a special big screen showing of Pillow Talk. Pillow Talk! One of my absolute favorites! Doris Day and Rock Hudson! Together for the first time! Not to mention Tony Randall (love!) and Thelma Ritter (heehee!). I’m pretty sure I squeed.

I tried to find someone at the last minute to go with me to the Charlotte Street Hotel (where the movie was being shown…with a Q&A afterwards with some film critic-y people I’ve never heard of but would probably know who they were if I’d lived in the UK all my life). I couldn’t find any last minute takers, though. So I went by myself. I don’t always do that…while I don’t mind going by myself somewhere (actually, I kinda like it…I’m weird that way), this was very last minute and I had to get the babysitter set up and all that nonsense (the hubby had his own thing he was already going to).

So glad I did though. After all, this was probably my only chance to see a Doris Day movie up on the big screen. And the digitally remastered version they were showing (it’s being released on Blu-Ray for the 100th anniversary of Universal) was BEAUTIFUL. Heck, the talk afterwards was even interesting.

And hey, I got to have a fancy martini at the hotel bar. Where, incidentally, the beautiful people go to work and hang out. I swear everyone that worked there could have been a model and they were all so darned nice. All in all, it was an adventuresome day (I haven’t even mentioned how I started the day at the dentist, went for a Jamaican hot chocolate afterwards at Louis Cafe and wound up as background in an ITV shoot).

Anyway. I was going to blather on some more about Doris Day and the whole things-having-happy-endings-thing but this is already getting long and boring enough. So. Moving on.

All mailed...

If you’re one of the librarians that took me up on my offer or someone who’s requested a signed bookplate…guess what? I mailed out a boatload of stuff today. Literally. Okay, I exaggerate a little…a bagload. Definitely a bagload.

The thing is, the postal service over here in the UK isn’t like in the US. For one thing, the post offices (or Royal Mail…doesn’t that sound fancy?) are generally located in the back of a convenience store. They’re privately run. It always takes forever to do anything, especially if you’re mailing stuff internationally and most of what I was mailing was to the US, with a smattering of stuff to go to other places, like Russia and Australia.

When I came in with my bag of stuff, I thought the lady was going to have a heart attack. And the counter is about 2 inches wide, so I’m having to stick on stamps and air mail stickers while straddling stacks of water bottles and boxes of cereal. It was an experience.

So, yo. If you’re one of the people getting something, I sure do hope you appreciate it. I’m not even gonna tell you how much I spent on postage. It was painful. See how much I love you guys?

In other cool news (now buried so far down in this post that I’m sure you’ve all quit reading and gone on to more exciting things like picking lint out of your belly button)…there were some great new reviews and interviews posted up today! (Yay, Google Alerts!)

Over at We Have a Situation, there’s a fun interview with me from Rachel. You can find out about cat names, what the original idea for the book was and other interesting stuff.

And at Charlotte’s Library, there’s a really lovely review that says “Cat Girl’s Day Off is fast and funny, with the spot-on cat comments that liberally sprinkle the pages being especially entertaining. Though Natalie is a well-developed character with genuine teenager-ish concerns, and people’s lives actually are in danger, it’s not a book that takes itself too seriously, which makes it a very pleasant break from reality.” And a bunch of other stuff too! All nice! I <3 you Charlotte!

There’s also some really nice reviews up over at YA Books Central (which always makes me happy, since I founded that site waaaaaaay back in 1998). Kim B. said “This is one hilarious, fun romp that made me want MORE!” and Francesca said “The (dare I say zany?) madcap adventures in Kimberly Pauley’s truly delightful new book are Hughes-ish in the best possible way, happy ending and all. I can’t imagine finding a better beach book this year, but if I were you, I wouldn’t wait until summer to read it.”

Love.

Oh. And have you checked out the new t-shirts yet???

Dear Creative Cause: I'm sorry that I've probably cursed you by picking you as my horse. Good luck anyway.

Last year I participated in #TheBet with three other author peeps: Brian Farrey (With or Without You), Andrew Smith (The Marbury Lens, Stick), and Catherine Ryan Hyde (a boatload of books including When You Were Older and Secondhand Heart). Basically, we each picked a horse in the Derby (and the fact that I used to live in Louisville and literally walked to the Derby gave me absolutely no advantage whatsoever) and considered the person who’s horse came in the highest (firstest? fastest? whateverest) the winner. All they (Brian, the lucky sod) had to do was come up with the title of a story for the first, uh, loser (Andrew), who’s horse came in next in line and so on.

When I say “participated” I mean I lost. Like dead last kind of losing. And not only that, but Catherine saddled me (hee hee, get it?) with the title “Uncle Mo’s Gastrointestinal Tract” which I duly turned into a short story for your reading…er…enjoyment.

So this year we’re doing it again. And this year…well, I’m probably gonna lose again. Because I never ever never ever ever ever win at any kind of racing event. Dogs, horses, it doesn’t matter. I could bet on the world’s fastest puma in a race with a lame duck and somehow the duck would win. If you ever go to a track with me, NEVER bet on who I bet on. Trust me.

In other words, stay tuned for a free short story coming your way soon. Not to mention two others from some awesome writers. I LOVED last year’s stories from Andrew ( “Miss Candor Sends Her Regrets”) and Catherine (“The Art of Being Stuck Here”).

Apparently I was the only one last year who decided to write a young-ish story so this year when I lose, I’m gonna go edgy, people. OUT THERE, I tell you. So watch out.

My horse is Creative Cause. Root for him (her?) or against him (her?) depending on whether you want another free story from me or not…

And I have, of course, been monitoring my Google alerts on Cat Girl’s Day Off. Because…er…because I can’t help it. Let’s be honest. I challenge you to show me one author who can (other than one who is completely technology challenged or already so famous that they don’t care).

Got an alert this morning for a post on LiveJournal that went on the asianamlitfans group that totally warms the cockles of my heart (whatever those are). Especially this bit: “This book is awesome on a stick! It has cats, dogs, superpowers, and hug-attacks (as in hugs used as attacks). In short, it’s like the author wrote the novel for me!”

People ask me stuff like that, you know. Why did you write this book? they ask. Who did you write it for?

Well. I wrote it for YOU, of course.

But…erm…mostly for me. Heck, all of us write for ourselves in some ways. I wrote this book for the silly cat-loving, sci-fi geek in me that always wanted to have purple streaks in my hair. The teen me who had a couple of outrageous gay friends that I dearly loved. The movie geek in me. The middle child me.

And I SO love that there are other people out there like me. ‘Cause sometimes? Let me tell you, the weirdness in my head sometimes seems like there can’t possibly be another person out there who gets me. And, okay, maybe there isn’t anyone out there exactly like me. But there are people out there who can appreciate the me there is in relation to the them that there is.

Wow. That sentence SO doesn’t read well and makes no sense. If there were an English teacher in the room, they’d be beating me with a stick.

Anyway. I wrote it for you guys. I hope you like it.