Kimberly Pauley

Sucks to Be Me

Sucks to Be Me: The All-True Confessions of Mina Hamilton,
Teen Vampire (maybe)

So, you think your life sucks? Try being Mina Hamilton. Her parents are vampires, which would sound cool if they weren’t so bo-ring and parent-like. And now Mina has to decide whether or not she wants to be one too…in a month. As if high school wasn’t bad enough, now she’s got to go to vampire classes with a bunch of freaks who actually want to drink blood (Gross! As if sushi wasn’t bad enough.). And she can’t even tell her best friend about any of it, not with a bunch of red-tape-loving vampire bureaucrats breathing down her neck. How’s a girl supposed to find a prom date and get through school with all this blood-sucking drama going on?

Myth: Vampires don’t exist.
Truth: Dead Wrong.

My parents are trying to ruin my life. Oh yeah, I know that every teenager says that, but I really mean it. They want me dead. Or, actually, undead.

My parents are vampires. Some people might think that sounds cool, but I’m not talking about those romanticized bloodsuckers, like in novels where everybody walks around in ruffled white shirts and can quote poetry. I don’t know where people get that stuff. Nothing could be further from the truth. My dad couldn’t quote a nursery rhyme if somebody paid him. He likes to watch football and CNN. He wouldn’t know (or care) who Stephenie Meyer was if she came up and bit him.

As far as I can tell being a vampire is pretty boring. Both my parents have regular jobs and have to pay bills and things like that. They don’t kill people or kidnap frail young maidens to be their slaves. (At least I’m pretty sure they don’t. I think I’d have noticed if there were a bunch of corpses piled up in the basement.) ….read more

#5 on the Fall 2008 Kid’s Indie Next List — “Inspired Recommendations for Kids from Indie Booksellers” (I’m on a list with Neil Gaiman!! Woot!)

2009 YALSA Quick Picks for Reluctant Readers List

“Though I don’t normally read vampire books, I was sucked right in by the hilarious yet sweet voice of Mina in Sucks to Be Me. And Sucks to Be Me is about a lot more than vampires: best friends, the prom, hot guys, and coming of age. This book sunk its fangs into me and never let go. I actually found myself rooting for nice teenager Mina to become a bloodthirsty vampire, and even wished I could become one myself—especially if it meant hanging out with Mina and her totally fun cohorts. The only thing that sucks about this book is that it had to end. A great read!”
—Debra Garfinkle, author of Storky

“Sucks To Be Me puts a sweet, funny twist on the usual teen vampire story. The concept is inventive and the characters are a lot of fun. I hope it’s a great success. Congratulations to Kimberly. I hope this is the first of many.”
—Susan Juby, author of Alice, I Think

“Great concept, great character, great fun!”
—Sarah Mlynowski, author of Bras and Broomsticks

“It’s rare for a writer to come up with a new and original twist on vampirism, but in Sucks to Be Me Kimberly Pauley has done just that. The novel’s biting wit and keen portrayal of teen-age angst will make it a sure hit among the high school set. It’s a book you can really sink your fangs into.”
—E. Rose Sabin, author of A School for Sorcery